


A Sickness of the Heart

by Angelicat2



Series: Sheith Month 2019 [11]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: And so is the team, Angry Keith (Voltron), Day 13-Reunion, Feral Behavior, Keith's past comes out, Kolivan is concerned, Past Child Abuse, Sheith Month 2019, Sick Keith (Voltron), and he ain't happy about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 12:49:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19768549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelicat2/pseuds/Angelicat2
Summary: Keith gets sick with a Galra illness caused by loneliness. The only cure for it is with the person who is currently missing. Keith's teammates try to fix it, but it backfires on them later.





	A Sickness of the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the help with this, Tatsuha21! :D It helped a lot and made me feel better about posting this fic.
> 
> Enjoy!

Keith felt shaking and hot. Like he'd walked a year in the hottest desert. His limbs shook as his body ached. He could feel a bead of sweat gather on his brow. He had assumed it was adrenaline from the battle they'd just barely won. Rising to his feet, he nearly stumbled as he got the Black Lion's door open. Not hearing the lion's whisper of concern in his mind, he shuddered as he stepped out into the hangar. 

It should have been cooler there, but for some reason, Keith felt even hotter than ticks before. He felt the trickle of sweat move down his back under his suit, but he ignored that too. It wasn't anything new. He'd been sensitive to things like this before.

Taking a few steps forward, the feeling intensified like a supernova exploding into space. It felt like every vein in his body wanted to shatter as he took another step, heat building into his stomach. Strangely, his limbs seemed to go cold like ice.

He heard one of the others say something to him, or at least he assumed it was to him, but he couldn't exactly hear what words they said. They could have been saying that Shiro was back for all he knew...

One more step, Keith's world spun and tilted, view going sideways as he felt himself fall slowly. Darkness descended before he was aware of anything else.

.....

They had to call Kolivan in. Coran had reassured them grimly that the pod didn't know what was wrong with Keith nor was it helping to heal him. Sweat clung to the part-Galran who laid limply in the healing pod, skin almost white as bone. His face was flushed a soft pink while dark splotches littered themselves under his eyes.

"He hasn't been sleeping enough," Kolivan noted as they all stared at the unmoving teammate. None of them were surprised. It had been months since Shiro had disappeared into thin air. Keith had been searching non-stop all that time. And then he had...been forced to become the leader of Voltron and it was taking its toll on him.

"Kolivan," Allura addressed him seriously, eyes like twin icy flames, "What is wrong with him? This isn't anything I remember from when I was a little girl."

"Nor have I seen it," Coran nodded as he inspected the pod's data for the twentieth time in the last few minutes, "The pod isn't registering anything wrong with Number Four."

"It won't," Kolivan spoke as his eyes narrowed, "This disease is certainly a newer type, one your machines will never have seen nor was it around when you were. It is Galran in nature. A few of my Blades have gotten it before."

"So...what do we do?" Lance asked as he poked the glass lightly, "How do we get Mullet feeling better?"

"Open the pod."

Coran and Allura shared worried expressions before Coran let the glass dissolve into nothing. Keith fell forward, but Kolivan easily caught him. Pulling the much smaller man into his arms, he explained. 

"It's not contagious," he paused as he looked them over, "This will be tough, for both of you. This disease doesn't last long, but hits hard. I need a few things to get him healed."

They all nodded. They wanted to help their team member.

"What do you need?"

.....

Keith heard noises like someone was talking. The words slipped passed him like he was under water. His body burned as something poked into his sides. Suddenly, he didn't want to be touched. He didn't like it. He wanted whatever was holding him to stop. He wanted Shiro. But Shiro was gone. 

He pushed weakly at the thing holding him. It wasn't who he wanted. It didn't smell like Shiro. Didn't sound like him. Didn't feel like him, gentle and calm but warm. This presence was more rough. Even after Shiro got back from the shooting star, he never felt like this. Keith threw his arms out again.

"Him...cell...now..." Words faded in and out as Keith felt an unwelcome hand press on his forehead. He snapped slightly, too weak to put much effort into it. His anger grew as he felt whatever had him move. Shiro had been in a cell for a whole year. Maybe whoever was taking him had been part of the torture they had put his best friend through. The reason he was missing...again...

He clawed at them. Fighting to break free of their grip. He never stood a chance as something pricked his neck, sharp and painful. Everything numbed as his limbs grew too tired. Keith felt something smooth - a hand perhaps - on his cheek before everything faded. Only one thought stayed on his mind.

He missed Shiro.

.....

"Let's get him in there before the next spell starts," Kolivan stated as he glanced down at the unconscious boy in his arms, "It'll be tough on him, no doubt. But we can't let him out. The disease will burn itself out after a few vargas to a quintant."

"There's really nothing we can do?" Pidge asked in a small voice as they all remembered how Keith had just woken up trying to push Kolivan away. The young man had practically hissed when Allura's hand had touched his face right before the sedative was injected into his neck. It was more of an angry noise than a hurt one.

"If there was a person who he trusted and cared about a lot, perhaps they could make him feel calmer and that would allow the disease to pass quickly," Kolivan stared down at the pale part-Galran who only twitched as a few beads of sweat rolled onto the rebel's dark outfit, "Unfortunately, I fear none of you are that person."

"Wait," Hunk asked as his brows dug down, "Doesn't he trust us?"

"If he felt comfortable with you, he would have told you about not feeling well before passing out," the Galra gave them a semi-sympathetic glance, "Now, let's get him to the cell. Sadly, we cannot leave anything in there or the illness will stay longer."

"Not even a blanket or anything?" Pidge asked as they started for the space.

"Not even a blanket," Kolivan parroted as they walked on. They walked in silence for a good few minutes before a clear cell appeared. One side of the blue glass was open, flat, white floor empty of all things. Kolivan set Keith inside before stepping outside of the glass as it shut.

"Why does he need to be in there again?" Allura questioned as her thin brows moved down, "Surely we could have locked him somewhere more comfortable."

"It wouldn't help," the man stared at Keith's now curled-up form, "We don't know how he'll behave. He might attack or even try to hurt himself, which is considerably harder to do if nothing is there. The illness just needs to make its way out of his system."

"So...just like that?" Lance asked as he waved his hand, "Just leave him alone?"

"Considering this started because he's been feeling ‘alone,’ no," Kolivan frowned as they sent him clueless looks of concern, "It seems you do not know."

"Know what?" Hunk asked with a worried expression, "What...what are we supposed to know? What..."

"The illness is caused by loneliness," he glanced at the hurt man who only shifted a bit, "Coupled with little sleep, this is what happens. Galra emotions run strong and intense. These can be calmed when the Galran finds the right person who will be able to give them emotional stability."

"In my day," Coran took over as he nodded at Kolivan, "Zarkon was the same. It seemed that after his wife-"

"His wife?!?" Lance shouted as the three humans' eyes widened in surprise, "He had a wife?"

"Yes," Coran continued as if the Cuban hadn't said anything, "When she and he had met, she certainly helped tame him. Why, even Alfor had commented on it."

"Father?" Allura asked curiously, one brow up.

"This was when you were but a little child," Coran twirled his moustache absentmindedly as he talked, "When Zarkon gave you that Galra helmet. But why were none of us aware?"

"The Galra back then wouldn't have wanted you to think them weak," Kolivan glared at open air, "Even now you’ll run across many who will not admit it."

Silence crept up on them as they watched the sick boy in the containment chamber. They could hear small grunts as he panted in his unnatural sleep. Moments, but what felt like years, later, Keith's eyes slid open. Something was off about them, indigo eyes looked almost dead, like he wasn't seeing what was in front of him. He blinked a few times as he laid on his side, shivering slightly from the chilly air. Seconds later, he pulled both legs up to his chest, and buried his face in his knees.

"Is...that normal?" Pidge asked hesitantly as she stared at the unmoving older teammate.

"It is not," Kolivan frowned as his hands strayed from their usual behind-the-back position, "But his biology may be to blame for that. I have never witnessed a hybrid get this disease before."

"At all?" Lance asked in surprise, "Like...only full Galra have gotten it!"

"Yes."

"Then this can change everything!" Pidge exclaimed as she typed away at her computer, "We have no idea what could happen. He might not even react the way we think he will."

They glanced to him. He was still curled up into a ball, hands fisted into the medical outfit near his knees. Every so often, they saw the rise of his chest as he breathed. The fists tightened every few seconds before loosening for a few. They watched him for a good minute before continuing.

"If this doesn't work," Pidge went on with a serious expression, "We'll need to do something before Keith…”

She trailed off. They knew what she was getting at. Keith could die from this. Inside the cell, Keith grunted softly, shifting to the side enough to get his knees underneath him. Swaying almost in a drunken manner, he clenched his arms to his stomach. A wounded cry left his lips as he all but flopped his forehead to the cold ground. 

“What can we do?” Hunk asked quietly, staring at Keith with a scared expression, “Shiro’s gone, and he’s the only one who can help, right? Right?”

Before anyone could answer him, a noise had them whipping their heads around to the cell. Within the clear walls, Keith was panting quickly like he couldn’t quite catch his breath. His legs were shaking slightly like they had a mind of their own, wanting to move about even planted to the floor. The slightly older man groaned softly before his brows moved down in...pain.

“Sh...r...urt…” Keith was muttering under his breath, half of it completely unable to be understood, “Nee...yo...back...Shi…”

“What is he sayin-” Lance was cut off by a loud cry of anguish that turned into a growl part way through. The team stepped back for a moment at the husky tone to his voice, startled at the sudden change. Before their very eyes, they watched as Keith’s eyes snapped open. The irises shrank down to small pins, the sclera glowing yellow. His teeth sharpened into fangs, all the teeth going mostly pointed. If they looked hard enough, they could see Keith’s fingernails grow into claws. Keith glared at them through hazy eyes, huffing wildly as he began crawling away from them to the opposite side of the cell.

“What’s going on?” Pidge asked softly as Keith hissed at them before huddling in a messy pile pressed against the wall like he wanted to phase through it, “Why…”

“Usually,” Kolivan began with a sad look at the hurt paladin who let out another hiss that sounded like an angry cat warding off danger, “When a Galra is affected, it affects their emotions. Normally, Galra use their intense feelings of anger because they have some control over which emotions are exposed and expressed.”

“So you’re saying that Keith has control over this at least a bit?” Allura asked as she stared at Keith, a frown on her face, “Why is he not expressing anger? He looks...defensive. Like he’s…”

“Like he’s scared of us,” Hunk almost sobbed as he stepped forward closer to the cell, placing a nervous hand on the glass, but pulling back when Keith hissed and bore his fangs, “But...but he has no reason to be scared of us. He knows we’d never hurt him...Right?”

“He knows that,” Kolivan responded as Keith growled and narrowed his eyes, crowding more into the wall, “But I doubt he does right now. His mind isn’t quite with us.”

“So what can be done?” Coran asked as the group blinked. A long growl left Keith’s mouth as he stared at them. He had his hand over his stomach still, like it hurt there. He also was still sweating.

“Wait!” Pidge shouted as the others jumped. Keith narrowed his eyes and scooted backwards quite a bit, “We need Shiro.”

“But Shiro is gone.”

“Keith doesn’t need to know that though,” Pidge explained as she typed away on her computer. The others watched with raised brows as silence reigned down on them. Once in awhile, Keith would shuffle around and let out a pained sound. Before long, he buried his face in his knees again, hiding his face away from them.

An image of Shiro flickered into shape right in front of them, dressed in his regular outfit of the ebony vest and black pants. His hair was black with the white floof, just like the last time they saw him. His face was blank, so unlike the real Shiro as if all his emotions were drained away. His dark eyes were dull. But he looked like himself otherwise.

“Now we just need to make this hologram match up to Keith’s knowledge of Shiro since he is the one who knows him best,” Pidge gritted her teeth as she typed more, “We’ll put this here...use the suit he’s wearing...hook it up to Shiro...And there!”

Shiro lit up like a star in the dark sky as he glanced around. He turned to each of them, clearly recognizing them. He looked ready to ask something when Keith made another noise. Shiro froze before he turned towards the sounds. The team could see his eyes soften before a look of worry crossed his face.

“Keith!” 

Keith’s head popped up from beneath his arms, eyes large and watery, irises still small. A tiny hum came from him as he tilted his head.

“Sh-ir-oo?” He croaked, voice scratchy from all the noise he had made, “Sh’ro.”

“I’m here, buddy,” ‘Shiro’ responded as he walked over to the door, which opened before he even got to it, “I’m coming in, okay?”

“Sh’ro?” Keith asked quietly as he stared at the man, “But...I...You...gone?”

“I’m here right now,” Shiro walked forward cautiously like Keith was a wild cat ready to slash out at him any second, “It’s okay, buddy.”

“But…” Keith glanced at him before his eyes turned to the team, sharp as ever. The team all held their breath as the older teen watched them. Before he could do anything, Shiro knelt down in front of him, placing both hands on Keith’s arms.

“Keith, you’re sick,” Shiro sighed softly as Keith’s eyes turned back to normal. The younger looked over at Shiro, “I want to help you. You need rest. Sleep for me, Keith? Please?”

Keith gazed at the older with narrowed eyes for a few seconds, making the others hold their breath. Then Keith nodded as he all but collapsed on Shiro who took his weight. The younger wrapped his arms around the other's torso, holding him tightly as he let out a tiny wail. 

“Don't leave again,” Keith's voice cracked as he continued desperately, “Stay, Shiro.”

“I’m here for you,” the fake reassured as he settled them down carefully, running his fingers through the younger’s hair as his head rested on the man’s thigh, “Just go to sleep.”

A moment of silence raced around the room before Keith rubbed his face against the other’s leg.

“Can’t,” he protested with a small whimper, “You’ll...disappear again.”

“I’ll be here for you,” Shiro started, but Keith growled up at him.

“No, you won’t,” Keith hissed before burying his face into the older’s leg, “I’m not stupid, Shiro. I’m not a kid. Haven’t been since I was six. You know that.”

“Keith…”

“I know I can’t keep you here,” the team began to squirm at what they were seeing. It didn’t seem to be their place, but they couldn’t move away as tears littered Keith’s eyes, “And I know you don’t want to leave...that you really had no choice both times, just like dad, right? I get that it was your guys’ duties. They came first, and I’m okay with that.”

“Keith,” Shiro stared at Keith with soft and sad eyes. Everyone else was too as Keith shook his head.

“I just…” Keith paused before he stared up at Shiro, a small hesitant look on his face, “Don’t want you to die again. Kerberos…”

Keith huffed before he rubbed his face against the other’s leg again.

“Kerberos hurt,” he sighed as he rested his head back, staring straight up. There was a shine there that told the team that he wasn’t fully with them, “I wanted you to come back. You said you would, and I told you I’d be there when you did. But then we got the news...I got angry. They blamed you! Everyone knew you wouldn’t have crashed your ship. Even with...well, your you-know-what.”

“Keith,” Shiro frowned before blinking, “Why were you kicked out?”

“I...uhhh…” Keith shrugged as he blinked, “I unraveled. Got into fights. Didn’t attend class. Punched Iverson in the face.”

The three humans on the team gasped silently.

“Packed up and left. Got really sick for a while,” Keith shivered suddenly as he curled his legs up to his head, “Like this. I don’t remember it much, but something stopped it. And then...I followed the energy that led me to you.”

The fake Shiro didn’t say a thing as he hugged Keith closer, weaving his fingers through Keith’s sweaty hair. Keith seemed to settle down with a large yawn, eyes closing as he snuggled close. The team didn’t know what to say, so they said nothing as the hologram flickered out of existence with one last glance at them. 

…..

“I feel like an idiot,” Keith huffed, barely a flicker of any emotion in his eyes, “I fell for it...for fake Shiro...again.”

“‘Again?’” Pidge asked softly as they all frowned, “What do you mean? That was the only tim-”

“It was during the trials,” Keith stared out the window at a far away spot, “Fake Shiro showed up. I thought he was real. He wanted me to give up my knife. I told him no. That I wouldn't do that. He said...some things and then he left.”

“Oh, Keith,” Allura placed her hand to her mouth to hide her poorly concealed gasp, “I...We thought it was the only way to help you. You were s-”

“Sick,” Keith interrupted her as he glanced at them before his dark, exhausted eyes fell back to the window. Sarcasm flowed from his mouth, “Well, congrats. You got what you wanted.”

“Keith-”

“You could have helped me yourselves,” Keith interrupted again as a shine entered his eyes, “Instead of sending in a _fake_ to take Shiro's place.”

“Kei-”

“You keep talking like Shiro's gone,” Keith glared at them, “He's not. I'm going to find him.”

“Keit-”

“Seeing Shiro felt worse than getting stabbed in the chest,” Keith went on, a little wobble to his voice, “Because he left again. How many times am I going to have to watch him leave?”

“We're so sorry, Ke-”

“No!” Keith screamed hoarsely as he spun towards them, anger and pain fresh on his face, which made the team back up in shock, “You don't get to say sorry. Not this time. You don't get to turn around and say sorry after this. You don't get to blow this off like you do most of the time when it's me.”

“Keith,” Lance started but Keith snapped at him.

“I hear the stuff you guys say. That I'm a loner and that I'm arrogant and I don't care about others and I'm a hothead.”

The others all put their heads down in shame.

“Well, maybe I have a good reason to be like that!” Keith snarled as he stood up, stalking towards them, “My mom left when I was a baby. She didn't want me. My d-dad died in a fire when I was six! One day he was home, the next he didn't show. It took them three days to find me out at our house and I didn't know what was happening the whole time!”

No one said anything as he came closer.

“I was too innocent back then, even after my pops died,” Keith shook slightly, “I tried being what everyone wanted. I cried too much, I learned to be quiet. I got hurt for being around people, so I avoided them. I got close to anyone, they left. I’ve had bruises and hunger-filled nights. Most foster homes weren’t very good places.”

The others looked ready to say something more, but he cut them off.

“Shiro,” Keith paused before he stared at them, “Shiro took one look at me, and instead of demanding something, he cared. He looked at a broken and defeated kid with no hope, and gave him a chance...gave me a chance. Even after I stole his fucking car, he gave me a chance. He promised...he promised to never give up on me. He was the only person who was there for more than six months in my life after pops died. Until Shiro, I had no one. And to see him here, only to have him ripped aw-”

Keith stopped as his outburst ended in a tiny sob. He hugged himself tightly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of the others move closer, but Keith nearly growled before stepping back. They seemed to get the hint that he didn’t want their touches right now.

“Why…” Lance frowned before his eyes slid up to meet Keith’s, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It...I...I didn't want you to know that stuff!” He exclaimed as he stared at them, “It was personal. I never demanded to know stuff about you guys. You would have said something about it. I know you guys aren’t jerks, but you’d have teased me.”

“We wouldn’t hav-” Pidge tried to protest as Keith glared.

“‘Is this a Galra thing, Keith?’” He parroted back at them as they all winced, “‘Keith’s part cat!’ ‘Do all of you know each other?’ ‘Oh, look! Keith’s turning purple with envy! Must be a Galra thing!’ ‘The Galra aren’t to be trusted.’”

All of them grimaced, now realizing their previous attitudes about Keith’s Galra side.

“If I had told you, you’d have been saying stuff like, ‘What do you know? You’ve never had a family!’ or ‘Oh, wow. No wonder you’re socially-inept!’” Keith spat out before he sighed and rubbed his head, still feeling the sickness hanging heavy on his temples, even though he was over it, “I’ve heard it all before, and I don’t care. You know why I didn’t want it happening? Because Shiro would have said something eventually, and then you guys would complain about him playing favorites, and then I would have felt terrible because he would be playing favorites.”

The team nodded after a moment.

“It wasn’t relevant to the team anyway,” Keith stated after a moment, “I’m...I’m going to talk to Black. I’m still not feeling good.”

“I…” One member of the team spoke before they all nodded, looking downward. Keith didn’t even say anything as he walked away. 

He missed Shiro.


End file.
